Rîn
by nyx thranduillon
Summary: In Valinor, Legolas can't help but remember past times. Just a short piece from Legolas' POV. written for the December 2015 Teitho 'Memories'.


**Rîn**

The tree in which I rest sings a different song to those that I have left behind and although it is just as soothing, just as beautiful, I can not help but miss the voices of those who were my friends for so many years. I wonder if they still thrive. I hope with all my heart that they do.

Looking out upon the beautifully composed and perfect landscape I must now call home I call to mind a rougher, wilder land. A land of heath and scrub, of forest and field, of mountain and valley and know that for all my longing to cross the sea part of my heart still resides back in the place of my birth.

Will I ever be whole again?

A lark sends its voice soaring and for a moment I am transported back to a time when all I knew and loved dwelled within the bounds of my father's kingdom and life was filled with love and laughter. I would clamber up the tallest trees to sit for unmarked time upon their highest boughs and simply loose myself within the forest's song.

How many times did tutors rant and moan about my untamed ways and lessons missed when none could find me, hidden far up in the canopy above?

Yet my father always knew exactly where I was. Could always pinpoint my location with such precision that I knew the forest must have sent him word. I did not mind. These times were always special. When he would set aside the King and climb to sit beside me to ride the boughs, as wind tossed they would sway and bend whilst laughter poured from lips stretched wide in mirthful joy, or else to meld and twine our songs in peaceful stillness with our beauteous home.

What times they were.

Yet all must change and all must grow.

My home grew dark, and in it Sauron's creatures forged their twisted lives.

My childhood passed and though I had no wish to fight, to kill, I found I had no choice and armed with deadly skills I stalked the darkness that would try to steal my home. My heart bled as the Greenwood fell to corruption and decay yet still. 'twere beautiful to me.

Time passed.

A stranger came.

A man.

My world was then forever changed. For with him came a creature like none other I had ever seen before. A small and crippled being, full of pain and torment. He begged us keep it locked away and guarded from the world. Yet, who was I to keep it from the light?

In trust I failed.

And in my own compassion sealed our fate.

The blame was mine, and still do I remember well the names and faces of those lost that day. And ever will.

The pain is still so near.

The light changes and the sky grows dark, yet still I rest here whilst the memories close in. Stars begin to twinkle high above and bathed within their light I should find peace. But they are strange. Their patterns unfamiliar and alien to my sight. I fear, not soon will I find solace underneath their pallid glow.

I sigh, and turn my thoughts back to another time, another place. A place where all unknown I wandered into that which would irrevocably change my life for evermore. A place where hope stood clothed in flesh and evil hung upon a fine wrought chain. Imladris. Land of lore and learning, which would lead me in the end much further than I ever thought to go.

My heart quails at the innocence with which I blithely set upon my way, sent forth with strangers to repay the debt of losing evil's pawn. Not bound by word but by my heart to see the journey through until its bitter end.

Aie, if I had but known where it would lead, should I have still set forth?

A rustle in the leaves breaks my reminiscence and I turn my head to see a pair of bright, brown eyes peek out from under cover of their lush green growth. I wait, still and patient whilst their owner contemplates my worth before emerging, sniffing at the air, his long and bushy tail twitching, almost as if it has a life of its own. I can not help but smile as it scurries forwards, running up my stretched out form to sit and chatter loudly on my chest. It seems some things remain the same wherever one journeys. The tirade ends and for a moment we sit in silence, then with a whisk of his tail he is gone and I am left alone once more.

Nay, not quite alone. For once again my restless mind returns to days gone by and this time conjures up those images that forged a lifelong bond. The man of Gondor, brave yet flawed, who by his actions sundered all yet gave his life without a thought for others weaker than he and unbeknownst set two upon a path they may have otherwise been loath to take. I wish that I had grown to know him more.

The Halflings, full of cheer and life. So unprepared for what would come yet staunch and loyal to the very end. A noble, kind and loving folk with courage far beyond their stature, far beyond their own knowledge, their friendship and trust I felt honoured to receive.

A ranger, strong and dark with piercing eyes and brooding air who carried all upon his shoulders, yet did never once appear to despair. A king of men, though humble. One who owned all of his faults and strove to rise above them, keeping hope alive in all whom he drew into his presence. Oh, such a man. One to whom I gave my heart without a thought. To follow unto death, like any brother. He it was for whom I gave my peace amongst my forest home and though the pain was great and lingers still, I would do the same again.

My vision blurs as one by one their faces fade away. Immortals never were designed to grow so close to those who live such fleeting lives. Yet had I remained in ignorance and sheltered deep within my father's halls I would have missed so much that now I do hold dear. My tears fall, and in their falling wash away my grief. They will live on. In memory and thought I will recall the faces and the voices of my past companions and recount all our adventures in my stories and my songs. They will live on. Within our hearts and minds they will dwell here as surely as if they had crossed the sea to join us, not departed far beyond the reaches of the world. I sigh, yet this time 'tis with peace and understanding in my heart, and as I gaze upon the stars once more their light burns brighter and I find they are not quite so different as at first I felt.

A gruff voice insinuates itself into my thoughts and I smile, yes, some things here are very much the same.

* * *

 **A/N**

Thanks for reading and if you care to leave comment I would be most grateful. :)

Rîn = Rememberance (Translated via Hisweloke sindarin dictionary)


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